It was with reservation that I reported to the manager, telling her I had to leave. She was at a cash register, screaming at a customer. She was, in fact, calling this customer a bitch. I touched her arm and said, “I have to go now.” She laid her hand on my shoulder, squeezed it [...]
Santa comes around here / Just about midnight
We finish up our month-long Christmas extravaganza with two songs about the G-L-O-R-I-A of the Lord. Both of these song titles emphasize the phrase somewhat misleadingly, since they’re both really known by other names. “Gloria, in Excelsis Deo” is Latin for “Glory to God in the highest” (Some of you may mentally finish that phrase [...]
Beats for Christmas
Perhaps you want to mix it up, with a little cut-and-paste for the holidays? Emperor Penguin is a duo out of Chicago; they utilize live instruments, samples, beats, and loops. This cut is from The My Pal God Holiday Record 2, issued by My Pal God Records, which was in Princeton, NJ and then Chicago, [...]
“Of all the motherfuckers on earth, you’re the motherfuckest.”
Completely offensive and racist, and one of the funniest things I’ve seen in a while, A Charlie Brown Kwanzaa shouldn’t work, but it does. Maybe because it not only traffics in the worst ghetto stereotypes, but also throws in Lee Hazelwood references. Linus’ big speech on stage about the true meaning of Christmas now includes [...]
“Oh, how they pound, raising the sound…”
“Carol of the Bells” has an interesting background, which you can read in detail here. The short version is that it was composed in the Ukraine and first performed in 1916. In 1936, lyrics were added for a performance by Arturo Toscanini on the radio, with other lyrics used on other occasions. In the Seventies, [...]
So, twice the gifts or half?
Two of my nieces were born around Christmastime. So were two people in my office. One of my co-workers is fairly sanguine about it; the other (quite frankly) seems a little bitter about the gyp. Let’s face it — Christmas is just about the single biggest holiday of the year. I imagine it must overshadow [...]
“It’s really the greatest day of all time.”
MICHAELUnbelievable. I do the nicest thing that anyone’s ever done for these people and they freak out. Well, happy birthday, Jesus. Sorry your party’s so lame. The Office “Christmas Party” – ep. #02016, original airdate 12/06/05 Written by Michael Schur Get audio clip here.
I wanna be Santarchy…
Here’s one of the greatest Christmas stories I know. Probably the only one I got. On December 4, 1999, I happened to be in Los Angeles, on the back end of a business trip. My friend John was also in town and we arranged to go see the Vandals play at the Hollywood Palace. So [...]
“Thumpety thump thump, over the hills of snow…”
One of the cool things about the Web is that one has a global audience. I’m getting visitors from Belgium, Germany, Japan, New Zealand, and other places. Some of you I know; either because I’ve corresponded with you (Hey, Sylvie!) or you’ve posted comments (Hi, Countrygrrl). I know there are some friends of a friend [...]
Christmas Cornucopia
The fabulous April Winchell has updated the holiday songs on her website (Click here, scroll halfway down the page to “Seasonal Favorites”). Highlights include Sally Struthers, the Bradys, an unaired SNL skit with Steve Martin & Paul Simon, and Regis Philbin (with help from Donald Trump). Stones Throw Records is streaming a long holiday mix [...]